Traveling abroad as a student is one of the best things I accomplished as an undergraduate student. I learned engineering material from attending classes. I gained more independence. And I got to experience the Spanish culture firsthand. I saw how the Spaniards live in Seville, what foods they eat, what stores they shop at, and how they greet each other on the streets. On my way to class, I would observe Spaniards on their way to work, children being taken to school by their parents, and store owners just opening up shop. A typical day in Seville varied greatly from what I was used to in Texas.
Instead of watching people on the street and wondering what their life looked like, I actually got a glimpse of life inside a Spanish home. I ate meals with my host parents, I slept in their spare bedroom, and I watched TV with them in my spare time. I learned that in the colder months, the house is warmed by one heater. And the heater is kept under the table in the living room because that is the location of the most activity within the household. I also learned that every meal is finished off with a piece of fruit. I never would have known these things had I not stayed with a host family. So, what is a host family?
A host family is a family who provides international students living accommodation within their own home. Each family will vary, some will have children living with them, while others may consist of a single person. The primary duty of a host family is to provide students with a safe and welcoming home environment that immerses the student into their culture. A furnished private bedroom, meals and laundry service are a few of the benefits to this particular housing option for study abroad students. The host family accommodation is not for everyone, so please continue reading to find out if it is the fit for you.
Types of Host Families
Families come in all different shapes and sizes. The same is true of host families, the only difference is a host family has opened their door to foreign students. Each program is different and has a pool of host families to choose from. There are three main types of host families.
- Empty nester. An empty nester host family consists of one or two host parents who have children that are grown or no children of their own. Typically, they are retired or middle-aged and live alone. Some could be widowed. Oftentimes, their children and/or grandchildren live in or near the same town and could be visitors. An empty nester household will feel like living with grandparents.
- Family with kids. A traditional host family will have one or more kids of ages ranging from toddler to the same age as you under one roof. The household may consist of two parents or a single parent. The hosts may have a blended family as well.
- Single Person. A single person host can be male or female and does not have any kids. It would just be the host living in the house.
Just as host families vary, students will too. Fear not, the program you choose will require you to fill out a questionnaire. Be honest with the answers you provide because your preferences and requests will be considered when placing you with a host family. Your program will do their best to make sure you and the host family will be a good match.
Host Family Requirements
Choosing to stay with a family that you have never met in an unfamiliar country sounds strange. Didn’t mama always tell you to beware of strangers? But, each family must meet certain criteria that ensures you have a safe time living with them.
- Background check. Each member of the family will have a full screening of their background before deciding if the family is eligible to host foreign students.
- Age. The main family member must be 25 years or older.
- Interviews. After an application is submitted, the host must go through a series of interviews. This is to determine if the family will be a good fit to host a foreign student.
- House visits. House visits are part of the interview process. They are to determine whether the host family can provide a safe and secure environment for the student.
- References. Many applications for host families will ask for the host to provide a couple of references.
- Adequate shelter. The host must be able to provide the student with their own bed. The student is not required to have their own room in many cases. However, if the student shares a room with a roommate or family member of the host, the person must be around the same age of the student, and the same gender.
- Adequate food. The host is expected to provide 3 meals per day for the foreign student. They must be able to provide that for the student.
- Adequate transportation. This may not be required for every program. But, some hosts must be able to have some sort of transportation available whether it is their own car or public transportation.
- Attend orientation. The host will have to go through training for hosting a foreign student. They will be given guidelines on the proper care for students.
Why Host Families Choose to Host Foreign Students
Allowing foreign students to live inside your home is not an easy task. So why would someone want to do it? Each host family will have their own motivation, but I have compiled a list of common reasons host families open their doors to students.
- Proud of their heritage. The purpose of a host family extends beyond providing safe lodging for foreign students. The host will be proud of where they come from and want to share their culture with others.
- Curious about other cultures. Not just anyone would be willing to open their home to students from a different cultural background. Families that host international students are unique in the fact that they want to learn about new cultures. You are as new to them as they are to you. They will have a natural curiosity about where you came from and want to learn about the life you live in your home country.
- Receive a stipend. Some host families, not all, will receive a stipend. Ameristudent, a homestay network that connects students with families, pays their hosts anywhere from $30-60 per day for short term lodging, or $1000 – 1400 per month for long term students. A host will not get rich by housing a student, but it can help supplement their income.
- Empty nest. Some host families are middle aged individuals whose children have moved out. Their children may live far away or in the same city and visit often. Either way, they could miss having young adults in their home.
- Widowed. A single host parent may be widowed and miss having people in their home. Hosting students is a double win because they won’t be as lonely with a student around, and they can make a little extra money.
- No children. Some host parents may not have children of their own. Having a foreign student stay with them can give them the feel of what it is like to care for their own kids.
How do I Know a Host Family will be a Good Fit?
Now the money question is, do you think a host family is a good fit for you? You know the different types of host families, why they choose to host international students, and how they are selected. Now it is up to you to decide if living with a host family is for you. Think about the goals you want to accomplish during your study abroad and consider these questions to ease the decision making process.
Do you want to learn a language? Studying a foreign language in class is much different than speaking a foreign language to native speakers. Living with a host family will give you a unique opportunity to practice the language in everyday situations. You may be taught the “correct” way to say something in class, but eventually learn that it is not the common way to say the phrase or word on the streets. A host family is a good tool to help you understand the language.
On the flip side, if you choose another form of living accommodation, you could get the same experience. You might live with a student that can help you practice your foreign language skills. But at the same time, if they speak the same language as you, both could be tempted to revert to speaking that language. If you speak English, they may want to practice their English with you. Just be aware of the possibilities.
Do you want to experience another culture firsthand? Living inside a host home will expose you to the culture of your host country. You will get to see what a typical home is like in that country. You will get to eat authentic home cooked meals. You can see what television shows are like. Living with locals also means they know the sights to see. They can point you in the right direction and hopefully provide you more insight into the history behind it.
Do you enjoy your independence? When you live with a host family, they will have their own set of rules. And you will need to be respectful of those rules. It will no longer be considerate of you to do what you want when you want. If your host family expects you back at a certain time, but you are running late, you will need to get used to informing them so they don’t worry about you. It can take a little time to adjust if you’ve been living on your own for awhile, but it is doable and worth it.
Do you want a commute to class? If you stay with a host family, you will have a bit of a commute. When colleges choose host families, they do their best to keep students close to campus, but that is not always feasible, especially when studying in a big city. Commutes can range from a few minutes to over two hours. Generally, the commute can include any sort of public transportation. Your study abroad program will have more information on the average commute time for where you are staying, so definitely check with them first. And if you are uncomfortable with a long commute, be sure to inform your study abroad advisor.
When I was in Spain, my school provided each student with a bus card loaded with 30 euros for the semester. They gave us the card to make up for the students with a longer commute to class. I was fortunate enough to have stayed at a place that was only about 13 minutes from class, so I walked. Not all programs will provide that for you, but it doesn’t hurt to ask!
What Should I Expect Living Inside a Host Home?
The host home you stay at will more than likely be much different than anything you are used to. I don’t want you to be caught off guard when you move into your new host home. Each program will vary, just as the families will, but there are a few standard things you should expect when you live in a host home.
- House rules. Each family will have their own rules unique to their family. Maybe you have to take your shoes off before entering the house. Whatever the rules, be respectful and abide by them.
- A private bedroom. Expect to have your own room unless you will be paired with a roommate. The roommate could be a student like you, or a family member that is the same gender and about the same age. You will get your own bed and storage space for your things.
- 3 meals per day. Your host family will provide the bulk of your meals, approximately 3 per day. Expect authentic home cooked meals, although this could vary from host to host. Also, if you won’t make it home for lunch, be sure to ask for a lunch to go. Your host parent won’t mind!
- Laundry once a week. At your host home, you can expect have your laundry done for you once a week. Or you can expect to have access to a laundry facility to do it yourself. Either way, you will have clean clothes!
What Will a Host Family Expect of Me?
- Communication in the host’s language. You are a foreign student, coming to study in another country. You will be expected to communicate in that language during your stay. You might get a break if your host family has a member that speaks your native language. But don’t rely too heavily on that.
- Spending time with the family. There will be more to your life than just studying while abroad. You should get to know the family that was so gracious to open their home to you. The main thing that will be expected of you is eating meals with them. And if they have company over (more family is likely), you should make an effort to spend as much time with them while they are there.
- Respect. Always remember you are living in someone else’s home. As a guest, have respect for them, their rules and their property. Your host is not intended to be your personal maid, so don’t treat them like one. Keep a neat and tidy space. You may encounter new rules, so abide by them.
- Keeping in touch about your plans. Keep your host family in the loop when it comes to your plans. They will understand if something comes up on short notice and you can’t make it to lunch on time. They will appreciate it more if you let them know, rather than you just not showing up. Same goes for future plans. Tell your host family in advance that you are planning a trip or that you won’t be eating dinner with them. They will understand, it is just courteous for you to let them know so they can make plans accordingly.
- Going out to meet up with friends. Having friends over to your house while staying with a host family is oftentimes a rare occasion. In many cultures, it is uncommon to invite friends to your home. Instead, you meet them in places outside of the home. When I studied in Spain, that was the case. Only on my roommate’s birthday was she allowed to have a friend over for lunch.
What if There are Problems?
I would be lying if I told you every host family experience is pleasant. Unfortunately for some students, their homestay does not turn out to be as perfect as they imagined. For some, their host family simply did not meet their expectations. And others may have to be placed in another home due to reasons outside their control. It is important to understand that issues can arise and you should be prepared to handle those situations beforehand.
Issues can arise simply because of a misunderstanding. This is especially true if you study in a country that speaks a different language. Meanings can get lost in translation, and either the host or student may not fully understand what is being said. The result is confusion or upset people because of the misinterpretation. In the beginning, you may not know that the issue is because of a misunderstanding. You should first consult the program leaders because they will be knowledgeable about the families and be able to address the issue. They should be able to tell you how to address the problem, or step in if need be. The last thing you want is to have little things build up into bigger issues. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about your living situation.
Issues can arise because of living in close quarters. If you are used to living in a big house or apartment with your own room and bathroom, it may take time to adjust to a new living situation. Oftentimes, the home you stay in will be significantly smaller. You may have a roommate which means even less room. And you may have to share a bathroom with the family. It is understandable if you begin feeling claustrophobic.
When I stayed with my host family, I had to share a room with another student. There were two beds in the room with about a foot and a half separating them. I could stick my arm out and touch her bed we were so close. Before that, I had not shared a room for about thirteen years. We also shared a bathroom. In the beginning I felt agitated because we were always around each other when we were at home. There was nowhere I could retreat to when I wanted to be by myself. I had to learn to adjust with the living arrangement and not hold anything against her.
If a situation like this occurs, the best thing to do is to communicate with your roommate or your host family. A friend of mine brought the problem to my attention because my roommate had talked to her about it. Once I was aware, I apologized to my roommate for my attitude. Then I learned of ways to give myself the alone time I craved. I went to the school to finish assignments. I went to local places to sit and read or draw. Or I put my headphones in while she was there to signal I didn’t want to talk. It takes time to adjust, but if issues arise because of living in close quarters, don’t panic, you will figure it out.
The food might not be to your liking. It really doesn’t pay to be picky with your food when you study abroad. Try to be open minded when it comes to meals. You never know if you’re going to like it if you don’t try. One lunch, my host mom cooked chicken livers. It looked different, so I asked what it was. She tried to pass it off just as chicken. I knew that was not the case, so I kept questioning. She finally told me, and was adament that they tasted good. I tried one. The texture was not pleasant and I wasn’t into the taste either. But now I know I don’t like chicken livers.
If you are ever in a situation like I was, and you are willing, try the food. If it is something you really can’t stomach, kindly decline. They will understand. When you do try foods prepared by your host family that you don’t like. Be sure to voice that. Eat the other things on your plate to be polite, but tell them you don’t like it. This way they won’t cook that dish again. If you eat it all to be polite, but don’t say that you didn’t like it, they will infer that you liked it. Be sure to speak up.
However, if you continue to have meals prepared that you don’t like, tell your host family first. Try to solve the problem first with them. If they don’t understand, or don’t correct anything, go to your program advisor. They can speak to the family and ask them to change their meals for you. You must eat, so if it is a huge problem, tell someone.
Conclusion
Living in a new country will take time to adjust. You are in a different time zone, surrounded by a different language, living in a new neighborhood, and attending classes in a new place. All these things can be overwhelming in the beginning. But with the help of a host family, you can adapt to your new surroundings. The most important thing for you to remember is it is your responsibility to adjust to your host family’s routine. You are visiting their country. It is your responsibility to adjust to them. Speak their language, eat their food, abide by their rules. They will have to adjust to you as well, but it is primarily your duty to make the effort to become comfortable with a new lifestyle.